Thank you SATAN!

What the hell do you think you’re DOING?!?!??  I know what I’m doing…I’m telling you about the most satanic and evil Friday the 13th EVER.  And since it’s already March 21st…well it’s about fucking TIME, YEAH?

Ok, so here’s what I know for sure:

The big Friday the 13th bash happened at the Hexagon Bar just south of Heaven about one week and one day ago.  The reason for our attendance was simple: Satanism, Surf Rock, and Infidelity.  Our reasons were pure, and after the show was over, we were pleasantly surprised to find a new source of happiness in the Brightest Stars, a newcomer to the debauchery of the Basement.

So just what the hell did I just say??!?

I told you that I saw Lusurfer, the Infidels, P&M (well, ok, I didn’t really mention them), and the Brightest Stars (a.k.a. Zyklon B. Kool) at the Hexagon Bar a week ago yesterday.  You should know by now that if I’m writing about a night out, it is because I feel compelled to share some of my experience with all of you…otherwise I wouldn’t be telling you about it…

So here’s how it all went down:

First to hit the stage was a band called ‘the Brightest Stars.’  I wasn’t really sure what to expect as I watched them set up all their gear…first came the drum machine, coupled to a large-sized cabinet full of speakers, and then the guitarist grabbed his hollowbody guitar and plugged it into a loop pedal, when finally the bassist arrived on scene and plucked a couple of notes.  After a short warm up the guitarist played an echoing strum which was looped while the guy behind the drum machine started poking away at his console.  This arrangement evolved into this HUGE wall of driving beats and hypnotizing rhythms washed over with beautiful vocal accents and then perfected by a bass player that reminded me more of a jazz musician than anything else, only playing when the time was right, and always with maximum effect.

I was truly hypnotized throughout the entire set, and like I said in the intro – pleasantly surprised.

What really impressed me was the fact that this was an act that wasn’t really trying to say anything with the music that was being sung.  Well, maybe that’s a bit forward of me to assume, let me rephrase…the vocals were an accent to the ebb and flow of the music, they weren’t coming out and telling us to destroy the government, or that they were cooler than cool, they were simply coercing us to listen, and listen we did.

After the set I happened to track down the singer and congratulate him on a set that really moved me.  I was shocked to find out that this was their third show ever.  With the way in which they played together and the intricacies of their arrangements I really couldn’t believe it…I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve put many months into practicing this shit because it was fucking tight like whoa.

You know what’s REALLY unfortunate?!?  I can’t find shit from fuck about his band online.  I haven’t the slightest idea how to tell you to go check them out…so I guess just keep your eyes peeled while you’re glancing through the City Pages looking for the next place to show off your hipster beard and drink tall boy PBRs…

[UPDATE 3-22-09: We found them!!  Check the end of the post for a link to their myspace page!!]

Ok, next to hit the stage was a band called P and M:

It’s times like this when I understand what is meant by the phrase ‘a picture says a thousand words.’

Rather than listen to these guys practice how to play in time with each other we decided to feed dollar bills to everybody’s favorite crane game:

You can see the frustration in the clenched fist of one of the Basement groupies as she curses the names of the curators of the ‘Toy House.’

Alright.  Enough shennanigans and tom-foolery…it’s time to get down.

The Infidels never disappoint and tonight was no different.  It’s three brothers or something…or relatives, I’m not sure, three of the guys in the band have the same last name, that’s all I really know for sure.  But anyway, they’ve got this fucking kick-ass sound reminiscent of bands from the early to mid ninties like Helmet and Fugazi, but certainly the best comparison comes when you put them beside Quicksand’s debut album ‘Slip.’

There is a certain force behind the music that this bands delivers that just makes you want to throw your fist in the air and fight back against all the things that really piss you off.  I don’t imagine that this band will be around the Twin Cities for long, as the relevance of their sound is right now in the grand scheme of things.  With their obvious influences and shout-along vocals they could very well be the next, and much bigger version of Rise Against.

See them soon I say!  SOON!!!!

Hopefully they’ll stop by here and leave a comment with a pointer to some upcoming shows and maybe a link to where you can buy/download some music.  But only if you fuckers are nice!  So be nice!

Now that we’ve been surprised, fed too much money to the crane game, and had our veritable faces rocked to the core, it’s time to thank Satan for all that he does for us on this beautiful little planet that some mythical being supposedly dreamed up over the span of six days right around 6000 years ago…

Before we get to talking about that though, I’d like to address the gentleman in the above posted picture.  His name is Mike and he can often times be found lurking around the crowd before a Lusurfer show, with some level of lucidity, and a beer or two in his hands…and then something strange happens…Lusurfer takes the stage and he turns himself into a human battering ram.  It’s comical the first, second, third, fourth, and even the fifth time he head butts you, but then after that it kinda becomes retarded and gay.  I just want you to be aware that full body armor may be a good idea if you plan on seeing Lusurfer live in the near future…

And now we will worship Satan.

Pictured here you can see Dagon the Blasphemer shouting at the crowd, or possibly telling Jesus jokes.  One can’t be sure which, but what one can be sure of is that if Dagon is talking, you will are most likely laughing your fucking ass off.  Dagon is backed up by a host of devilish little fiends including Asmoday the Tormentor on drums, Moloch the Manipulator on guitar, and their human slave, Gary the Insurance Salesman on the keys.

Truly if one of you had asked me a year ago if I was a fan of surf rock I wouldn’t have been as excited about it as I am today.  Especially after seeing Lusurfer re-interpret songs like ‘Run to the Hills’ by Iron Maiden and ‘Crazy Train’ by Ozzy with such a technical awareness that they might even make the original artists jealous for not making these songs into #1 smash surf rock hits to begin with.   Randy Rhoades is dead, but he lives on in the guitarwork of Moloch the Manipulator.

Aside from the kick-ass original music along with the select cover songs that Lusurfer burns through in a set, they also have an INSANE ability to work the crowd.  Jesus jokes are the main attraction for people such as myself, and seriously…I’ve got to share this one with you:

How do you keep the baby jesus from crawling around in circles?

YOU NAIL HIS OTHER FUCKING HAND TO THE CROSS!!!

Bwaahahahaahhahhahahahhaahahahahhahahhahahhahahahha!!!!

THANK YOU SATAN!!

I could go on and on and on about all the little intricacies that make the Lusurfer show one of the best in the Minneapolis Music Scene, but really, I’d be ruining it for you, because they do it so much better in person  than anything I can put into words here.  You’re just going to have to come out and confess your sins to Lusurfer (and yeah, you really can do that, best sin wins a new prize every show!) and see what the fuck it is I be rappin’ about…

Take a bow…

As always, go check out some new music, here’s some handy links:

The Infidels

Worship Lusurfer

The Hexagon Bar

P.S. If anyone knows how in the FUCK to get a hold of the Brightest Stars, PLEASE leave us a comment so that we can add a link to their page!!!!! Thank you Satan!!!!!

EDIT 3-22-09: The Brightest Stars (a.k.a. Zyklon B. Kool) Thanks again SATAN!!!