Archive for rock and roll sluts

The Rock and Roll Whores: Undressed to Impress

Posted in Show Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 8, 2009 by the devil

IMG_9063

So it was a Monday night in August and I had heard from a bird that the Rock and Roll Whores were playing a FREE show at the Fineline in Downtown Minneapolis.  FREE?  I’m there!  It was SUPPOSED to be free, anyway…

The day of the show The night of the show I received an SMS Text message from the spurious Johnny Hardcore, singer for the ‘Whores.  It said something to the effect of: “Now the show is 8 bucks, just found out, we’re going to do our best to get banned from the Fineline tonight.”  That’s not verbatim, but I’m not a credible news source, either, so you get the point, yeah?  So it should be a good show for me and the other guy who had nothing to do but spend 8 bucks plus parking on a Monday night in Downtown…and it was…

finelinewhores2You see, the Rock and Roll Whores are a fucking PUNK BAND.  Sure they’re influenced by the blues, some straight ahead rock and roll, but when you look at the lives, and more-so the stage antics of this band, you begin to see that they are driven by the true meaning of the word ‘punk.’  They’re punk as fuck.  With this being the case, I was sure that Johnny was serious in his assertion that they were going to do everything they could to get banned from the Fineline on this steamy summer night.

I arrived around 10pm to find the ‘Whore’s drummer Nicole standing outside.  I chastised her for a moment regarding a dimly lit nipple incident involving a graduation gown, leather gloves, and fox skull, and after this we went inside.  She got in free because she’s ‘in the band’ and I had to pay eight dollars because I am not ‘in the band.’  Sometimes I think that bassist Reverend T. Sexy wishes I was ‘in the band,’ but maybe not in so many words…

fineline whores 3While I waited for the band to take the stage I sat through the remaining few songs from ‘Oberammergau’ from Minneapolis.  Crazy lead singer chick, reminded me a little bit of Bjork, if Bjork was singing for the legalization of Ritalin.  The night actually consisted of quite a few bands, another of which whom features a good friend of the devil’s, Pete Duffy of Mark It Zero (an obvious Big Lebowski reference in case you were confused).  You might be asking yourself right about now why would all these bands sign up to play a Monday night at the Fineline?  Well, it’s probably necessary to mention that the evening was a ‘battle of the bands’ for some company who doesn’t get mentioned since they fucked everyone into paying eight bucks for the show.  The bands had a chance to win a $5000.00 recording deal blah blah blah just like every other contest, it was probably put together with a winner in mind…

So let’s get to the WHORES, shall we?

We shall.

The ‘Whores took the stage around 11pm and came out fully clothed (except for Nicole, but she rarely wears anything other than underwear).  They got to jamming and JFChrist did they sound killer in the Fineline!  As they started to play the majority of the crowd was sitting in their chairs being the naturally uninterested hipster fucks that this city is known for.  Then something strange began to happen…

The band continued to play…but that’s not the strange part…the crowd began to get off their asses and get up and dance.  I think it had something to do with the energy on stage, coupled with two well-placed cover songs, ‘I wanna be your dog’ by Iggy and the Stooges and ‘Whole lotta Rosie’ by AC/DC.  These, along with the magnificent performances of their catalog of original music created what can only be described as ‘a kick ass fucking rock show.’

But wait…

Didn’t Johnny say he was going to get BANNED?  Yeah, he sure as fuck did.

Hey Johnny!  How do you plan on getting banned if everyone is dancing and having a good time?  I think your plan is falling apart!

finelinewhores

Well…ok, so they had a plan.  During the last song on stage the Reverend decided to get completely naked, smoke a joint on stage, and he did this while Mr. Hardcore sliced his chest open repeatedly with a broken beer bottle that he had smashed on stage during the opening of the song.  I waited for the soundman to cut the band but still they played on…

In fact, the soundman had such a huge boner for Nicole he left the soundboard to come up front, rock out, and cast his vote for the Whores!  Some other guy who worked at the Fineline came up and asked that the joint be put out, but they had already finished it.  It was a lesson in boundary stretching, as it were, the Whores did NOT get banned, no, they were, in fact, asked to come BACK to the finals of the Battle of Bands, which they did.  There are seven commas in the previous sentence.

The only thing that was requested of the band is that no bodily fluids hit the stage or they would be asked to leave…nothing was mentioned about getting naked or smoking the hooch, so I guess that’s ok to do at the Fineline these days.  You can thank the’Whores for that one…

www.myspace.com/rockandrollwhores

Thanks for stopping by!  Tell all your friends or we will hunt you down and kill you.

-the devil.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.